Maioush

Dance like no one is watching, Blog like no one is reading

The Best Way to Solve a Problem: Give Up

benet

Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem. Sometimes the smartest choice is giving up.

I don’t think that giving up should be your primary method for dealing with problems. But there are certainly a lot of cases where it just seems to be the most intelligent answer.

Giving up is really about honoring your feelings. It’s about giving up trying to force yourself into a mold of societal shoulds and embracing your true self.

So here’s an invitation to…

  • Give up trying to be perfect.
  • Give up trying to be cool.
  • Give up wanting to be different for the sake of being unique.
  • Give up keeping relationships with people you don’t really like.
  • Give up trying to be the center of attention.
  • Give up trying to be important. (Focusing on community is usually more fulfilling.)
  • Give up achieving a lot of ego-driven goals.
  • Give up caring about owning a lot of cool things, which keep you distracted from acknowledging that you don’t like what you’re doing with your life.

With that said, there are a lot of ways we think we’re doing well, but we’re really not.

Counter-intuitive to what you think, it might make more sense to…

  • Give up trying to be super happy all the time. Instead, settle for being peaceful.
  • Give up trying to live up to the expectation of… yourself.
  • Give up needing a reason to share your love. Being alive is reason enough.
  • Give up trying to be everything to everyone.
  • Give up caring about being the smartest, best and fastest. At least don’t let your ego get caught up in it.
  • Give up trying to constantly improve yourself.
  • Give up caring about doing what works.
  • Give up caring about knowing everything in advance before you take action. Put yourself on auto-response instead.
  • Give up trying to always find interesting experiences and interesting things to do.
  • Give up trying to live up to the expectation of your parents, your friends, your boss, and peers.
  • Give up trying to have a flawless body, perfect face, or an impeccable wardrobe.

 

Trying to make things happen all the time creates a lot of unnecessary anxiety. It’s stressful trying to deny what is.

When I give up, I accept life as it is. No strings attached. No wishing things were different. If an action needs to be taken, I take it. But I’ve given up letting my happiness be dependent on a thing.

It’s interesting how we seem to have so many problems, so many dilemmas. But most of the time the answer to solving them is doing nothing. Giving up.

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Filed under: Thoughts

10 Responses

  1. Sometimes habeebti, giving up is not an option.
    I’m never giving up on you 🙂 don’t you dare give up on me

  2. Simply Me says:

    I think giving up brings peace of mind.. it should not be seen as weakness, but rather as being smart – when giving up is by choice and is seen as the most suitable option.

  3. kinziblogs says:

    Wow, did you write that? 🙂

    I like the term ‘letting go’ rather than ‘giving up’, I’ll have to think about why.

    Maiush, I dedicated a dumb blonde joke to you. Good thing you are a smart brunette 😀

  4. Shadz says:

    Basically you mean give up trying to be false and live your life the way it was meant to be lived, uncomplicated and with feeling rather than physical things, true ?

  5. vagueraz says:

    I think that giving up is not a solution for problems it let you get out of prolems , relax ,,
    do not mind ,, what will happen , let things work with flow .. and ween ma tejy tejy zay ma b2olo .. and let it go ,,
    but believe me its just a while then as human nature you will back to do hard to get what you want ,, …
    .. 🙂

  6. JUMANA :) says:

    Maioushtyyy,
    (give up) make you comfortable all the time, i give up on every thing in my life looooong time a go, except reading your blog!!

    viva maioush 🙂

  7. someone says:

    Perfect!

  8. bakkouz says:

    If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experienceI will dispense this advice now.

    Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years youll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.Youre not as fat as you imagine.

    Dont worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

    Do one thing everyday that scares you

    Sing

    Dont be reckless with other peoples hearts, dont put up with people who are reckless with yours.

    Floss

    Dont waste your time on jealousy; sometimes youre ahead, sometimes youre behindthe race is long, and in the end, its only with yourself.

    Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

    Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

    Stretch

    Dont feel guilty if you dont know what you want to do with your lifethe most interesting people I know didnt know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds know still dont.

    Get plenty of calcium.

    Be kind to your knees, youll miss them when theyre gone.

    Maybe youll marry, maybe you wont, maybe youll have children, maybe you wont, maybe youll divorce at 40, maybe youll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversarywhat ever you do, dont congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either your choices are half chance, so are everybody elses. Enjoy your body, use it every way you candont be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, its the greatest instrument youll ever own..

    Danceeven if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

    Read the directions, even if you dont follow them.

    Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

    Get to know your parents, you never know when theyll be gone for good.

    Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

    Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

    Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

    Travel.

    Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do youll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

    Respect your elders.

    Dont expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

    Dont mess too much with your hair, or by the time its 40, it will look 85.

    Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

    But trust me on the sunscreen.

  9. Israa says:

    i think u mean:
    always try to be ur self: correct.
    but if somebody has a prob. so may be the solution is to give up solving that prob. : wrong answer no way.

  10. Chris says:

    You are so right. The more you fight it, the more it ‘bites you in the butt’. You have to accept your limitations and be proud of your strengths. There is a place and a reason for everyone. It’s God’s plan not yours.

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