Maioush

Dance like no one is watching, Blog like no one is reading

On How to Adjust to Married Life!

Sometimes couples get so wrapped up planning the wedding; they forget about the actual marriage. Married life isn’t all cozy dinners and intimate times; it’s also a lot of compromise and communication. So how are we (and b we I mean newlyweds) Adjust to our new life?

Compromise.
The word sounds easy enough, but when it comes to all the routine parts in our lives we take for granted (and have been doing the same way for years), it can be easier said than done.

You may be a clean freak and he may think it’s fine to leave a week’s worth of dishes in the sink. Or you might crash at 10 p.m. while he’d rather stay up past midnight. Each of these living adjustments can initially seem like deal breakers, but if you’re married then you can’t bail so easily-you need to find some middle ground. That may mean you don’t blow up at him whenever there’s a dirty plate on the counter and she takes a nap in the evening so she can stay up with you, but whatever the solution, it should be something the two of you come up with together.

Money Matters.
Money can be a sensitive issue, and we all need to figure out how to handle our savings, debts, investments and incomes. For some a joint account works fine, but for others, keeping your money separate or having a joint and separate account can be the key to staying together. Ideally we should figure out what system would be best before getting married.

 

Another key to financial happiness is full disclosure. That means you can’t hide your massive credit card debt and he needs to own up to any spending sprees as well. Because even if your money is in separate accounts, you’re still a team and one person’s actions affect the other.

Your First Fight.
It doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as your first dance or first kiss, but the first major fight is bound to happen and is just as, if not more, important to your marriage, because it will set the tone for how you handle future conflicts.

“The problem that most married couples run into is that they say [what’s bothering them] when they’re angry. Never discuss serious issues in the heat of the moment, wait until later when everything’s fine and say ‘this is how I felt when that happened, If it gets so heated that everybody’s yelling, you have to make an agreement that the argument will stop because it’s just not doing anything for you.”

Nobody ever said marriage was easy, but we can all make the transition go much smoother if we’re willing to compromise. And to give us all a little perspective.

 

My mom gave me those advices before I got married to keep in mind: 

“[Your partner] stays the same and the relationship stays the same. Things you like about the person you like more, and things that bother you bother you more. If you go into the marriage thinking that will somehow be different, you put unnecessary pressure on the relationship,”

“There is no such thing as happily ever after. There’s good times and bad, but don’t expect to be happy all the time. People that expect to be happy all the time get disappointed a lot and get divorced early,”

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Filed under: Thoughts

11 Responses

  1. gjoez says:

    Very helpful advice! Specially that I am not even engaged yet.. bass i hope to keep those advices in mind 😀

  2. Pearls of wisdome my love … allah ykhalleeli eyyaki
    Now, can you stop your shopping sprees and pay your goddamn cridet cards? 🙂
    LOL … just kidding

    Tislamli 3ainek elahi

  3. such wisdom for only few months of marriage!!! if i live long enough, i would like to read from you in 10 or 20 years…it will be a “golden” wisdom for sure!

  4. that was me, summer, i had to create this very new thoughts, after the scare of deleting blogs on blogspot!!! 😦

  5. Maioush says:

    gjoez:
    glad you liked it, it really matters when you are actually in the situation to think that way.

    Husbandy:
    LOL! teslam ya 3omri 🙂

    Summer:
    OH, i was thinking how did you get that name cuz when i clicked on it to took me to life thoughts 🙂 welcome to WP i guess 🙂

  6. nousha says:

    very nice words

  7. kinziblogs says:

    Well said, Mai. When the trust, respect and love is there, you can feel safe that compromises will be done fairly and enrich your marriage.

    AND…as you said…work them out BEFORE marriage, when things are rosy, before that first fight! Which should come before marriage, anyway 🙂

  8. Diana says:

    ya 3aini 3aleki, dorar! 😀
    I so agree with you 🙂

  9. KJ says:

    Looks like someone did some extra shopping (ie Samer got a new gizmo) 😛

  10. Batoul says:

    beautifully done tabousheh 🙂

  11. jessyz says:

    Yeah, I remember waiting for that first fight, I was curious what he’d be like. Bas wallah tele3 tayeb we ebn 7alal. 😀
    I like the down to earth advice.

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