Maioush

Dance like no one is watching, Blog like no one is reading

أسكتوووو، مش غيروا بلاط المول!!!!

مبارح و لأول مرة بجرب قعدات “النسوان” و يا وردييي على إلي صار فيي، بعد ساعة من الوقت،مستوى الذكاء تاعي صار تحت الصفر من كثر ما سواليفهم فارطة وتافه

هادة يا سادة يا كرام رحت أسلم على وحده اجت من السفر، كانت مسافره وقت ما أنا اجيت على سياتل، المخلوقة طلعت عامله عمليه هناك، فقلت لحالي يا بنت خلي عندك ذوق وروحي إنتي تعرفي عليها

 حكيت مع وحده من البنات إلي بعرفهم هون وطلبت منها انها تاخدني و نروح مشان أتعرف عليها و أهنيها  بالسلامة، قام شوووووو طلعت هديك الست عامله جمعت نسوان ولامه كل نسوان الحارة، و محسوبتكم طبعاً ما إلها على هادي الحركات بالمرة، قلت ماشي يلا مش غلط، بس طلعت غلط وستين غلط كماااان، يا خرابي على إلي صار

قعدوا البنات عفواً النسوان و عينك ما تشوف إلا النور،على قصص سخيفه، مين اشترت أغلى بلوزه، او إلي زنّنّنّت على زوجها لحد ما جبلها طقم الكنبايات أبو ال- ١٢٠٠٠ دولار لأنو كتير طالع موضة السنه، و أنا قاعده يا غافل الك الله، بستنى يحكووا اشي مفيد، أبداً!!

أنا عاد متى ولعت معي؟؟ لما قعدوا أكتر من ٢٠ دقيقة يحكوووا للي اجت من السفر كيف انهم غيروا بلاط المول بغيابها، وهديك زي إلي حكيتلها إنو رايح عليها اشي كتير كبير…  الله أكبر، ٦ بنات قاعدين  بحكو عن بلاط المول؟؟؟ ليه؟؟ مافي اشي تاني بالحياه نحكي عنو غير وين صرفوا فلوس ازواجهم والأشياء التافهة التانيه…

يي صحيح نسيت أحكيلكم عن مشهد تنتيف وبر الوحيده إلي مش موجوده معهم، وكيف إنو هي ما بتفهم ومو منيحه وما بعرف شو بتعمل كمان، لأنو أنا صراحة بطلت اركز بعد هيك، فما بعرف شو حكوا كمان

أنا أخدت قرار ، مدام إني عارفه حالي مش خرج سواليف النسوان ليه بعمل بحالي هيك؟ لا زيارات نسوان بعد اليوم، إذا كتير حابه اني ازور، بسحب حالي و بروح ازور العالم مع زوجي، ساعة زمان، كيف حالكم، شكراً على ضيافتكم، و سلام ، أما اني أضيع ٣ ساعة من نهاري على سواليف فارطه.. لأ وألف لأ

 و الابلى من هيك إنو كل وحده قاعده تلعن ابو أفطاسه لزوجها، تعال احكي لوحده فيهم، قومي اشتغلي وساعديه، بتقلك ليه هو أنا ما بكفيني شغل البيت!! ولك أي بيت هادا و إنتي حتى بلاط المول صار عندك قصة.. آاخ بس، أنا مبارح بس اكتشفت اني غير مؤهله اني أعد بالبيت بدون شغل

هاف أ نايس ويك اند…

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Filed under: Personal

Walkom… Get away from Husbandyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

Awal eshi, Wus up people?? A5barkom, still alive?? LOL! Yeah yeah yeah I’m still alive walahi, ya3ni I know I haven’t wrote a word in ages, and you have all the right enkom tsebbo 3alai, bs walahi I don’t have time to a7ok rasi.. it’s like I’m always out of time, and the funnies part is, I start dosing on the couch around 10:00PM mn el ta3ab.. walahi 3eshna o shofnaki ya Mai betnami abl el sha7adeh o bent.ha!!!

NOW!! I want to awaje3 raskom shwai, la2 really, I have to tell you ya jama3a, cuz I’m about to Af2a3, first answer me PLEASE, eash benesbeh la el banaaaaaaaaaaat???

Shoofo sho sar, since the day I got married I noticed something about girls with Husbandy, and before ma balkom yroo7 la b3eed, it’s not about him being neswanji, Husbandy mafi menno, it’s the other way aroud, and if I wanna tell you all the stories, prepare yourself for a 94385794358435743578 episode mosalsal, bs shofo sho sar..

Scene 1:

Me and Husbandy in the store buying our weekly grocery, at the cashier a girl helping some guy and her kashara is like 45 meter long, when it’s our turn all what he said was HI, o 3eenak ma tshoof ella le noor, her kashara turned into a smile mn el dan la el dan, and started chatting and laughing loud t2ool betza’3ze’3 feeha!!! Lemmi elli we2e3 mennek ya5ti eash fi?? Once  he turn at me and said my wife “whatever the rest of the sentence was” she looked at me and her kashara was back to 50meter long, ahla o sahla ya5ti!!

 

Scene 2:

We are buying a cake as we were heading to our friends house HUsbandy is standing in line and trying to be nice as the lady behind us are about to explode and all he asked was when is her due date, o el ma5loo2a zai elli ma sada2at 7aka ma3aha, o 3ala haha o hehe, o bel a5er she was like ” you wanna touch it??”, Samer looked at her o el maskeen was shocked, he didn’t know what to do, he laughed to be nice without telling her that she just freaked him out el maskeen.

 

Scene 3:

As we were filling the car with gas a woman came to him and screamed b nos dano, DID YOU SEE THE PRICES??????? Poor him, he jumped mn makano and turned trying to see what was that zamoor, to find a lady laz2a feeh laze2, el mseebeh enno there were like 6 more cars in the gas station, and her car was on the other side aslan!! HMMMM!!! Raqeeqa o shafafeh ana??  Can’t you see me in the car ya habla ya bent el 3abeeta?? He was super nice as he always is, when he came back, he was like, eash feeh?? mn wean tel3at hai??

And that’s not the case with none Arab women only, I mean it’s always like that, I remember in Eid when we went to visit some friends and…

Scene 4:

we met a girl and her husband, and what are the chances, her bro was his best friend back at college, and she saw him mn hoon and starts screaming mn hoon “MESH MA32OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.. SAMER QWAAAAAAAAAAADEEEEEEEEER??? OH MY GOD!!!”  she left her husband and el nas and started asking about his phone numbers and where do we live o 7asheesh,, EH!!! 7asseh 7alii shafafeh 3an jad!! She got his phone number and 2 days later she called him and asked us to visit them, and in the end of the message “OOOOOOOOOOOOOH, and I need your wife’s phone number please” ya sabaaaaaaaaaaaaaa7 el ward, ma lessa badri, halla2 I found out later that she is super nice and all, bs still… and I’m not the jealous type bel marra, la2 jd you won’t see the smoke coming out of my head Abadan.

I have no idea why women seem to naturally gravitate towards him

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH that felt so good, I was suppose to blog about it loooooooong time ago 😀 , I know this post is super long bs it’s been a while right?? 😀

Filed under: Personal

The twins are WALKING!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I miss them soooooooooooooooo baaaaaaaaaaaaaad, I feel like it’s been forever… these are the kids that I spent the first 2 months with, I’m sooooooooooo attached to them, I really cried when I saw these videos for them, they took their first steps, mashalla, they grew up 😀 … I can’t wait to see them again, and now I can’t sleep… just watch the videos and you’ll know what I mean!!!

I MISS YOU GUYS!

Sorry, the videos are not youtube, and I didn’t bother looking how to add these in wordpress, just click on the name

This is Billal

And this is Yousef

Filed under: Personal

Happy Birthday my love… :)

Happy Happy Birthday husbandy 7abeebi, inshalla 3o2bal 100 saneh ya rab, this is the first birthday, first EId, today my eid is a double Eid.. Allah ydeemak foo2 rasi o ma ye7remni mennak ya rab 🙂

Samer Qwaider, I truly love you :

 

Filed under: Personal

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