Maioush

Dance like no one is watching, Blog like no one is reading

The Art Of Listening

 I was talking to one of my friends, she’s been married for almost 2 years now, she was complaining on how things are not going “so great” between the two, after listening to her for more than an hour, she felt much better that she actually was able to “talk” to someone about it, which made me think, when a relationship goes sour, one of the first things to suffer is communication. If you can’t communicate with each other, then there is no possible way to salvage the relationship. The thing to do is to prevent communication from ever being a problem. One of the most important aspects of this is to learn how to be a good listener. I guess what I’m about to say might help a lot:

  1. Give Them Your Undivided Attention
    When your partner wants to talk, put everything else out of your mind and actually be there with them while they are talking. You cannot possibly listen to them if you are thinking about other things you would rather be doing, or have to do.
  2. Listen To What Is Actually Being Said
    This is especially true if you are in a disagreement. It is very easy to pick out the things in what your partner is saying that you want to hear and can throw back at them. This is not some high school debate class where you score points for winning an argument, this is your sweetheart and your actions here and now will dictate the course of the rest of your life together!
  3. Look At Them When They Are Talking To You
    Have you ever tried to talk to someone that refused to make eye contact with you? It is very disheartening, especially when you have something important to say. When talking with your sweetie, actually look at them and not around the room.
  4. Notice the Hidden Emotional Tone of Your Partner
    Very often, your partner won’t say exactly what is on their mind straight away and it is up to you to draw them out. By looking for their emotional tone, through their body language, voice inflections etc., you will get a very good indicator of what is actually bothering them and also how it is affecting them.
  5. Acknowledge Your Partner
    A correct acknowledgement can very often completely resolve a dispute in one go. It has a two-fold effect: 1. It tells your partner that you have heard and understand what they are saying and 2. It makes them feel better by releasing some of the emotional baggage that may have built up on the subject. A good rule of thumb when there is a lot of emotional baggage attached to a situation, is to acknowledge them by repeating in your own words what they have just said to you.
  6. Remain Calm
    If your sweetheart is angry, very often they will lash out at you because you are there and are someone they can take their frustration out on. While this may not be pleasant and the most ideal way to handle a situation, I’m afraid it is part of the job description of being a sweetheart. Realize that it is just a way for your sweetie to vent and resist the urge to get angry back, it will only make things worse.

Happy listening everybody 🙂

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Filed under: Thoughts

14 Responses

  1. Awesome post! Too bad you made it on a Thursday evening

  2. Summer says:

    Mai, very wise and experienced list of stuff you have here, coming from you, not that you are not wise or somethng like that…but you know what i mean!

  3. Batoul says:

    Remain calm :S tough one. It’s been my New Year’s resolution for the past three years bas getting much better lol.

  4. wayoubi says:

    Great Post! and I believe these points can be applied when dealing with friends and coworkers. To know to how to listen is one of the most important skills a leader should posses to be successful.

  5. yfa says:

    Great advice.

  6. unknown says:

    precious advice, look at this
    1. “This is not some high school debate class where you score points for winning an argument, this is your sweetheart”=grow up.
    2. “Notice the Hidden Emotional Tone of Your Partner”=Sigmund Freud

  7. jumana says:

    I like this post a lot Maioush…very true

  8. Maioush says:

    Qwaider:
    I know :-s too bad.

    Summer:
    I don’t really know how to take it, I guess I’ll take it as a compliment.

    Batoul:
    LOL! Enti mafi mennek amal 😀 J/K! 🙂

    Qayoubi:
    Of course, the art of listing should be applied on everyone you know around you, but it’s comes as a serious matter when it comes to you partner.

    Unknown:
    Thank you for your continuous support 🙂

    Jumana:
    Thanks dear, I miss you ana 😀

  9. jumana says:

    🙂 I missed you too.

    Qwaider..this post is so good…people will find it.

  10. Hani Obaid says:

    Huh…… did you say something ? 😛

    What’s wrong with Thursday night ?!

  11. Dino$ says:

    dinos took notes

    thanks maoush! sho hal kaalam il wise ! sho bi2rablik dr phils i mean phil 😉

    but u knwo what i realized that sometimes just talking to your friends even if not complaining to them makes u feel better. No one will get you like your girlfriend. Men are MEN. they come from a differnet planet and will never give u the reactions your girlfriends will.

    Communication is a very serious issue that involves efforts on both sides and not only one. If u r the only one will to communicate it wont work.

  12. Summer says:

    Mai, of course i meant it as a compliment you silly goose!!! you are wise beyond your years! 😉

  13. Maioush says:

    hehehe Summer 😀 i know i was just teazing 🙂 LOL!

  14. KJ says:

    😀

    It’s amusing how many people miss out on the remaining calm and the eye contact.

    Thanks for sharing ^_^

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