Maioush

Dance like no one is watching, Blog like no one is reading

Facts About Men (Humor)

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

3. Men are very confident people. My brother is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from the living room, and if they’re really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

4. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

5. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. Women should sleep with one under the pillow, instead of a gun.

6. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

7. All men hate to hear “We need to talk about our relationship.” These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.

8. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

9. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

10. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

11. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I’ve never seen a man walk into a party and say “Oh my, I’m so embarrassed; get me out of here. There’s another man wearing a black tuxedo.”

12. Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

13. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

14. If you’re dating a man who you think might be “Mr. Right,” if he  a) got older , b) got a new job , c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

15. No man is charming all of the time. Even George Clooney is on record saying he wished he could be George Clooney.

16. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

17. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

18. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

19. Most women are introspective: “Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?” Most men are outrospective: “Did my team win? How’s my car?”

20. If a man says, “I’ll call you,” and he doesn’t, he didn’t forget… he didn’t lose your number… he didn’t die. He just didn’t want to call you.

21. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. “Get out” and “I never want to see you again” might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, “I love you… I want to marry you… I want to have your children.” Sometimes they leave skid marks.

22. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

23. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause – you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

24. Men forget everything; women remember everything.

25. That’s why men need instant replays in sports. They’ve already forgotten what happened.

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Filed under: Fun

19 Responses

  1. LOL!!!!!
    That was a hilarious list Maioush … dang!

    I’ll get you one day!! You evil ….. woman! hehehehehe

  2. Nadia Bitar says:

    i liked it … and i believe the following they r sooooo true:
    2. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle
    7. All men hate to hear “We need to talk about our relationship.” These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf
    20. If a man says, “I’ll call you,” and he doesn’t, he didn’t forget… he didn’t lose your number… he didn’t die. He just didn’t want to call you.

  3. D says:

    even when two women only meet together they talk about men 😉

  4. Tala says:

    lol @ number 5 its so funny

  5. Maher says:

    Edeeelloooooooooooo!!!!

    Ya3ne what do you want us to do exactly?? If We talk about sport..You mock us.. If we talk about Women..You also Mock us! Mesh ma32oool!

    I just dont know what is it with Woman..Why they harras us when we are watching a game..I have no idea! You either enjoy the Game or SLeeeeeepp !! EH!!

    Recently My mom has become tired of hearing us screaming about the games and stuff..so she started to watch it with us. She is now a Die-Hard Real madrid fan. she has there T-Shirt! LOL
    Maybe because my father is a real madrid fan..i dont know! but whenever they score..she starts cheering with my father lool
    Love you mama :s

  6. kinziblogs says:

    I LOVE THIS!!

    Especially how men are like portable heaters that snore… Yaybayay!

    I may have to link, just in case I have one reader who may have missed this on your blog.

  7. Dandoon says:

    “Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved”
    ah tell me about it. Thats it…I have to find a way to make laundry more dangerous, for the sake of all women!!
    OR
    I can put a flat screen TV in the laundry room. what do u think?

  8. sam says:

    LOL these are so funny maioush…i like the men and superheros one …so true!

  9. Maioush says:

    Qwaider:
    LOL!! Get me? We’ll see about that 😉

    Nadia:
    Welcome to my blog, I’m glad you like it!

    Dima:
    LOL! so true 😀

    Tala:
    My brothers freaks out every time I use it 😀 HAHAHAHA 😀

    Batoul:
    Glad you like it 🙂

    Maher:
    3awadi 3ala allah feek, wakalt amri feek lellah! 😀
    Bs allah y5aleelak el mama ya rab , that’s so cute that she is in to these things with you guys 🙂

    Kinzi:
    Thaaaaaank you Kinzi, and feel free to link 😀 I’m honored wallah! 🙂

    Dandoon:
    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL, put a TV and make sure it’s on the sport channel 😀 LOL!

    Sam:
    It is right 😀 LOL! Glad you like it..

  10. […] Jokes. Old Jokes. Now, MEN JOKES! Thanks to Maioush.  Girl, you are gonna make a great wife someday. You know all this stuff about guys, and are still […]

  11. […] votes have been cast! So Maioush went ahead and created her list on men, here’s a man’s response to these mostly false […]

  12. LOOL Maioush….i loved ur list…and i want to send it to my friends. 😀

    may i ? 😮

  13. Tamara says:

    Looool : ) Maioush great list !

  14. KJ says:

    You forgot one more thing: Men don’t need maps and women always need more shoes 😛

  15. Deemco says:

    hahaha very funny maioush 🙂

  16. Maioush says:

    Oriental Arabesque:
    sure 😀 3ala 7sabek ya amar…

    Tamara:
    thaaaaank you 😀

    KJ:
    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! that’s why we have you guys 😀

    Deemco:
    😀 glad you like it!

  17. One Kid On The Way says:

    Dude these are funny.
    hahaa.
    Thats FANTASTIC, the highlight of my day.

    See i am married with 1 kid and another on the way.
    My Husband just loves sitting in front of the t.v. and cheers his team on like they can hear him.HAHA!
    Good stuff.

    🙂

  18. Prom Dresses Hat Hollister Clothing…

    I can not agree with you in 100% regarding some thoughts, but you got good point of view…

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