Maioush

Dance like no one is watching, Blog like no one is reading

RUN AWAY AND HIDE!!

I’ve been feeling that my brain is full of junk for a while now, I have so many things to say, but I don’t feel like it, I even feel too lazy to write a post, I almost write one every single day, and you know what I do when I’m done? I delete it and turn off the computer and leave, why?? God only knows.

It looks like I write more when I’m mad than when I’m happy, well, it started that way aslant!! I started this blog like 3 years ago when I was feeling down about me moving to the states, and instead of going to a shrink, I started writing and posting, looks like it works for me.

But I don’t know, these days I feel like writing so bad, but I don’t know why I’m not doing it, I know I’ll feel better when I do, but I just don’t want to..

Do you people get mad at yourselves? Cuz I do! And I’m mad at myself at this moment, I wanna do so many things, but I don’t have time to do it, and it has nothing to do with Ramadan, it’s me, I think I got used to it, although I’m not suppose to, I wanna change it, or you know what, I wanna go somewhere to be by myself for few days, and I mean by that just me, like run away and hide from everybody and everything around me to me alone, I feel like it so bad!! Bedi akoon ALONE!! JAD ALONE!! No internet, no phone, no way to communicate with any human being for few days, seriously.. I need to clear my mind, but I know that there is no way for that to happen even in my dreams.

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Filed under: Personal

6 Responses

  1. Maioush,

    This sounds like a cliché by now, but I honestly know how you feel, I’ve been feeling the same way too before sometime and I even vented in some old posts I wrote about it..
    (in: Something doesn’t feel right…!!)

    I was so down because I had several pressures to deal with at that time; so many changes took place at my work, personal and social life weren’t going so well too..i also wanted to switch off my cell phone and go away for a couple of days…but I didn’t do it cause I couldn’t it…I just tried to overlook at my life, analyze what is going on and what is putting me down, tried to pull myself out of it by doing things I like, seeing and talking to people I feel comfortable with, and honestly speaking going on vacation was the best remedy (although I wasn’t all alone during the holidays)

    You know what’s going on with you and what might be causing you to feel this way. Maybe staying at your uncle’s and taking care of the twins is pressuring you a bit. Try to relax shwai, do things you like and honestly Mai don’t do things you don’t feel like doing just to please others. You matter the most. 🙂

  2. bakkouz says:

    So, why don’t you just do it? take a few days off and go somewhere, like maybe Aqaba, just sit at the beach and relax without the bother of modern technology 🙂

  3. summer says:

    Take a few days vacation!!! good luck!s

  4. Noura says:

    If I tell you that we all go through the same thing, I will sound like a broken record..Seriously though we all do.. It’s difficult to deal with when you know what you need to fix the problem but can’t do it because it’s not the right time or other circumstances,it can drive you crazy..
    Like “oriental” said may be it’s the pressure of being away from your own house and room, your privacy.. Take a little break, it can do miracles 🙂
    Please keep smiling, and remember you’re not alone .. Blog and let some steam, we understand .. God knows I’ve done it so many times,and you were all very supportive 🙂

  5. Maioush says:

    Oriental Arabesque:
    Walahi ya bent u said what’s on my mind, I admit that taking care of the twins is stressing me a little, but at the same time, it’s keeping me busy most if the time, I wish I can take a vacation some time soon, there are so many things I feel like doing but can’t do it, for so many reasons, you know how life is!!
    Thanks for all the saweet words my dear, awlaahi kalamek raya7ni kteer 🙂

    Bakkouz:
    Man!! You want me to travel all the way to Jordan to spend some tome in Aqaba?? You know what!! Sounds great, btestadeefni man 🙂 ??

    Summer:
    Thank you so much summer.. I wish I can walahi!

    Noura:
    Bezabt!!! Walahi k2nnek 2a3deh b albi..
    It’s like I know what I have to do, but either I can’t do it, or worse!!! Don’t feel like doing it! Can you believe me?? Habla walahi enni habla.
    I need a break walahi, maybe soon inshalla, I need it so bad..
    Yeslamo kteer ya amar, you guys are the best… jad yeslamo

  6. Maher says:

    Mai, same way i am feeling these days.
    IMO,its something that has to do with our age. its the transformation from being a teenager to more mature person..

    Have faith .. ;>

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