There are some moments in your life that you know will be moments you remember forever. And they’re not the cheesy high school graduation pictures, or the first time you see the love of your life. They’re not moments like your wedding day, or spending Sunday afternoons with someone special. They’re moments you don’t even realize are moments to remember until you’re right in the middle of them.
Knowing that everything’s about to change. I know all of this. And… and I’m… happy.
There is no end, I know that now. But knowing there is no end is not the end in itself. Does that make sense?
Oh God, what am I trying to say? I gleefully embrace the fact that there will be no happy ending. The world will keep going, I will keep going, it’s not the end, there is no end. Not yet. Not ever.
And I’m comfortable with all of this, I could change my mind. I could change everything. There is no end, right? Maybe it’s not the end. everything will be fine. No. I can do it. I can change. I can jump.
For the first time, it feels like there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Except it’s not a tunnel, it’s a cliff.
And it’s pitch black, and there’s a black ocean raging underneath, just like how I saw it out the room window, but there is a light. I see the light and that’s what I’m jumping for. And I can make it. I know I can. I’ve never been so sure of anything before. I’m not tied to any one ending. Because there is no end. You can always change. Everyone is capable of change. It’s only the weak ones who can’t. It’s the ones who are scared who don’t. And me. Me. I’m not scared any more.