OK, here goes … I know they say ‘size doesn’t matter’, but to me it does – enormously. As far as I’m concerned, the more inches, the sexier it becomes. Just looking at one can make me go weak at the knees – granted, that isn’t a major achievement, considering my lack of balance. The last one I saw was a deep, dusky red. It must have been at least four inches high, with two thin, winding straps ready to tie elegantly around the ankle, and a toe so delicately pointed you could tickle a baby’s tummy with it. I remember debating whether to go inside, sit down, and ask if they had my size. But why? I can’t walk in stilettos!! My most optimistic guess was that I’d be able to stand completely still for three seconds, but I failed to convince myself that was a good enough reason to buy a pair of high (we’re talking ear-popping) heels.
What is it about high heels that makes them so appealing? Easy. You’re saying, “Look everyone, I’m so feminine I only need a pair of toothpicks to hold me up.” My well-worn Caterpillar boots came with a leaflet which proudly stated that they were suitable for, “Any weather. Any terrain. Any climbing”. I’ve tested out rain and mud, but I think they are otherwise over-qualified for my feet. I really should have grown to love the whole ‘flat-shoe thing’ by now.
On the plus side – I am 5’11”, which means that I don’t actually need the extra height. But how often does anyone need a pair of sexy shoes? For me, it’s about having (or not having) the option to buy a shoe. Don’t get me wrong – there are some lovely ballet-shoe styles out there, but I would like to own them out of choice not necessity.
You are probably thinking that I have spent far too much time pondering this particular footwear issue, and I am inclined to agree with you. Alas, that time has already been wasted, so I might as well share with you my proposed solution to this fashion dilemma.
- The Problem: Maioush wants to wear high heels. Her balance says “NO!”
- The Aim: To attain a pair of high heels that look good and that Maioush can walk in.
- The Conclusion: The shoes will be designed to have a special retractable heel. This unique mechanism will allow the shoe to be flat when walking but (here’s the science part) when Maioush is seated or stationary, a heel will come shooting out and click into place. Once on the move again, the heel will retract and – voila! – balance will be restored, the world saved and peace … all right, it’s not rocket science, but I’m sure my Year 7 science teacher would be proud.
So, I had the answer. Now all I had to do was to wait for the right time … 😀