The Best Way to Solve a Problem: Give Up

Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem. Sometimes the smartest choice is giving up.

I don’t think that giving up should be your primary method for dealing with problems. But there are certainly a lot of cases where it just seems to be the most intelligent answer.

Giving up is really about honoring your feelings. It’s about giving up trying to force yourself into a mold of societal shoulds and embracing your true self.

So here’s an invitation to…

• Give up trying to be perfect.
• Give up trying to be cool.
• Give up wanting to be different for the sake of being unique.
• Give up keeping relationships with people you don’t really like.
• Give up trying to be the center of attention.
• Give up trying to be important. (Focusing on community is usually more fulfilling.)
• Give up achieving a lot of ego-driven goals.
• Give up caring about owning a lot of cool things, which keep you distracted from acknowledging that you don’t like what you’re doing with your life.

With that said, there are a lot of ways we think we’re doing well, but we’re really not.

Counter-intuitive to what you think, it might make more sense to…

• Give up trying to be super happy all the time. Instead, settle for being peaceful.
• Give up trying to live up to the expectation of… yourself.
• Give up needing a reason to share your love. Being alive is reason enough.
• Give up trying to be everything to everyone.
• Give up caring about being the smartest, best and fastest. At least don’t let your ego get caught up in it.
• Give up trying to constantly improve yourself.
• Give up caring about doing what works.
• Give up caring about knowing everything in advance before you take action. Put yourself on auto-response instead.
• Give up trying to always find interesting experiences and interesting things to do.
• Give up trying to live up to the expectation of your parents, your friends, your boss, and peers.
• Give up trying to have a flawless body, perfect face, or an impeccable wardrobe.

 

Trying to make things happen all the time creates a lot of unnecessary anxiety. It’s stressful trying to deny what is.

When I give up, I accept life as it is. No strings attached. No wishing things were different. If an action needs to be taken, I take it. But I’ve given up letting my happiness be dependent on a thing.

It’s interesting how we seem to have so many problems, so many dilemmas. But most of the time the answer to solving them is doing nothing. Giving up.

Filed under: Thoughts